This guest blog post was written by Dave Engledow, dad. Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Nothing is better than a well-planned family meal.
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If only we could all multi-task like Dave’s daughter, Alice Bee… Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Each morning, I close my eyes for a minute and visualize that night’s dinner. My eight-year-old daughter Alice will help me plan a well-balanced meal, we’ll prep and cook together, she’ll set the table while I bring the dishes out from the kitchen, and the whole family will spend the next 30 to 45 minutes laughing uproariously and talking about our days as we sample and enjoy the many healthy courses we’ve prepared together.
Then I open my eyes and realize this is actually what’s going on:
Look familiar? Maybe it’s time for a new family dinner routine. Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
If your family is anything like ours, you probably find it difficult to plan the perfect family meal. There are so many obstacles: busy schedules, short attention spans, bad moods, refusal to even consider trying non-nugget-shaped food, etc. I love food and I love cooking for my family, but nothing ever goes according to plan. And that’s ok. Like us, you may never actually experience the perfect family dinner, but here are a couple of tips that could help take some of your meals from horrible to tolerable.
Turn the devices off and leave them in the other room.
Don’t let FaceTime take the place of real family facetime. Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
I wish I could say that we remember to follow this rule at every meal, but when we do actually adhere to it, the whole experience is just better. Trust me.
If dinner doesn’t work for your family’s schedule, choose another meal.
Well, maybe not this meal (except for the heart-healthy oranges, of course)… Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Managing everyone’s crazy schedules can be challenging. If your weeknights aren’t free, try making breakfast together. Or weekend lunch. During the summers, we eat a lot of our meals at the local pool and cook on the public grill. It’s just a matter of figuring out what works for your family’s schedule.
Encourage the kids to help cook.
Look out, Top Chef, Alice Bee is on the case… Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
This is an investment in the future. If you can maintain the level of Job-like patience required to let your offspring share your kitchen, it can lead to some wonderful bonding experiences, and (hopefully) future meals where you get to sit back and enjoy watching someone else cook for you.
Don’t make prep work feel like a chore.
Alice Bee and Dave taking orders from mom/wife/retired Army Lieutenant Colonel, Jen. Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
To encourage a love for all aspects of the cooking process, we have started giving Alice her own, child-friendly set of cooking tools. For her 8th birthday, we gave her a small cast iron pan, which now hangs proudly in a special spot on the wall. The first time she scrambled an egg in her pan was also the first time she actually ate an entire serving of scrambled egg.
Be adventurous--try learning a new recipe together.
The always adventurous Alice Bee… Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Look for opportunities to try something new. If your kid is learning about a new culture in school or is excited about a future vacation destination, have some fun with it. And while they may never actually eat the kimchi you make together, at least you’ll have a fun and memorable experience.
Try your best to always include a variety of healthy options on the table.
When we told you to add heart-healthy color to your plate, this is not what we meant… Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Expecting your child to eat every single thing put in front of them is a fool’s errand that will ultimately end in tears (yours and theirs). But the more healthy options on the table, the greater the chances that they’ll try something. For several years, frozen peas (served frozen) were literally the only green thing Alice would eat, so we had them with every single meal.
Try to have interactive conversations that involve all members of the family.
We’ve been there, Alice Bee. Photo credit: Dave Engledow, author / photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father.
Nothing is more boring to a kid than grown-up talk. Rather than asking, “How was your day at school?” we always try to ask more leading questions, particularly about subjects we know Alice is excited about. For the past six months, all dinner conversations have centered around pigs (her current obsession) but seeing her engaged at the table is definitely better than the inevitable “I’m bored!” that occurs when there are no devices and Mom and Dad are talking about work stuff.
Dave Engledow is the author/photographer of Confessions of the World’s Best Father, as well as two children’s picture books, The Little Girl Who Didn’t Want to Go to Bed and The Little Girl Who Wanted to Be Big. His work has appeared in GQ, People, Parade, New York Times online, and dozens of other print and online publications. He was named one of My Modern Met’s Top 10 Breakthrough Artists of 2012 and was selected as a Best of Show photographer at the 2014 International Photography Awards.